Punk's Not Dad
Last Saturday was a rarety for me
as I spent an evening in Cardiff's trendiest nightclub "Dempseys".
It's the place where normally all the Principality's fashion elite strut
their stuff (think New York, 1970's, Studio 54), however tonight it
had been taken over by those loveable rogues "Punks Not Dad"
for the launch party of their debut album "We are the Dads".
|I realise that you are all now world-renowned rock
stars but just for the record can you introduce the band members and what
they actually do.
BERNIE MACLAREN (Manager): OK but youll have to give me a minute to check the bands MySpace site. Theyre obviously so mega-famous now that they have other people who are paid to remember their names for them. Theyre far too busy recording tip-top dad-punk anthems and having a nice sit down afterwards. Ok, here we go
Sid Life Crisis shouting
Joe Strimmer bass and Horlicks duty
Johnny Cardigan guitar and er thats it
Adrian Viles - banging
JOE: We had thought of calling it Smoking a Pipe at the Gates of Dawn or A Momentary Lapse of Continence in honour of the old hippies but thought better of it.
SID: The whole thing was recorded and pretty much mixed in a single weekend. Including breaks for Chocolate Hobnobs and tea. Many of the tracks had never even been rehearsed or played live until we met up in the studio. Trying to keep things as instant as possible is always something weve tried to aim for in the classic punk tradition.
ADRIAN: That and, of course, having our every sexual whim catered for by an army of adoring underwear models. Weve always been ambitious
JOHNNY: Thats a good question. Were not entirely sure ourselves! It can all be traced back to a chap called Uncle Wilco the countrys chief Sheddist and creator of the Readers Sheds website - www.readersheds.co.uk. He kinda took a shine to us.
SID: Wilco even popped up tonight at our launch gig/party and guested on backing vocals for In Me Shed! That man will do anything to promote his shed-slanted view of the world. His mind is protected by roofing felt. The track has proved so popular that we decided to release it as a single from the album. 79p download from Amazon/iTunes to you guv .
ADRIAN: You dont need Punks Not Dad to get hold of compromising Lisa Rogers pictures! Just try Googling!
JOE: Seriously though, we met her doing a radio show and then used charm, tact and the promise of writing a new song solely about her in order to get her to do it. Then we forgot all about that once we had her trapped!
SID: There is a rumour that of the 13,000 people thatve seen the video on YouTube (see below) 12,987 of em hit the stop button after the first 90 seconds once Lisa had finished her intro. But we dont believe a word of it.
JOHNNY: Track 4 is a song about Sids teenage fantasy and all-time top punkette pin-up Gaye Advert. We wrote to TV Smith, whos on the same label as us, and told him we had a track called Gaye Adverts Eyes. He listened to it and called it, quote, Genius! It doesnt get much better than that!
JOE: Gaye herself was also flattered apparently but singularly failed to come up with a decent, quotable phrase for us to shamelessly peddle in order to increase sales.
JOHNNY: Yeah, Sids still getting over that
BERNIE MACLAREN: Well, I have a few copies in the back of the car. I could just
ADRIAN: Oi Bernie! Bog off!
SID: We always advise our fans to ignore everything that Bernie ever says especially when it comes to parting with their hard-earned! You can get the album on CD or download from Amazon, www.punksnotdad.co.uk or direct from our label Boss Tuneage/XFist at www.bosstuneage.com. You can also get it on iTunes but download only obviously.
JOE: I should point out that Sid only knows about mp3s, downloads and sh*t cos his 12 year-old nephew sat him down and explained it to him. Sids calls to the record company for wax cylinder format release fell on deaf ears.
BERNIE MACLAREN: Deny everything!
JOHNNY: Chill out Bernie! They cant prove a thing
SID: Actually, inspired by Wacko, Johnny had wondered whether, in the event of his death, he could leave his own kids to be reared by Diana Ross.
ADRIAN: Either that or Poly Styrene
JOHNNY: You f*ckin rotter!
JOE: No, its true! And again, in the great punk tradition, anyone can do it! Sids nephew helped us set it up ourselves on the ol interweb thingy. Theres a whole host of Punks Not Dad themed merchandise available from www.punksnotdad.spreadshirt.net.
JOHNNY: Including Tshirts, hoodies, and baby-grows with The Filth & the Puree emblazoned on em! All good quality gear.
BERNIE MACLAREN: Of course, the boys are only in it for the music.
SID: While you Bernie are only in it for the moolah! You old git
ADRIAN: Well, wed heard that old Brucie was going to be paying tribute to Joe Strummer so it didnt seem right somehow.
SID: Anyway Glastos a sh*thole!
JOHNNY: Yeah, last time I went I tried to sit on my handy shooting stick to watch something at the IndieShoeGazerUnderTwentiesJingleJangle Stage. Before I knew it Id sunk in the mud up to me cardie!
SID: Whats the point of playing in front of 10,000 people in a field when you could be playing to 50 people in the Cardiff Barfly? er mmm . oh .
JOE: Well, next gig is, ironically enough, back at the Cardiff Barfly with our old pals the Sex Pistols Experience. After that, were playing a one-off in the foyer of the Cardiff Millennium Centre Cardiff on 21st July. That should be a laugh!
ADRIAN: Yeah, us and the Llanelli Male Voice Choir
JOE: Hey - those guys rock! OK, they might have taken a somewhat suspect musical direction but theyre true Dads. And the Dads are alright!
SID: Apart from that, were working on the next single. Its
likely to be our new song in homage to the trials and tribulations of
trying to assemble IKEA bedroom furniture. Its called I
Cant Get It Up
BERNIE MACLAREN: Id just like to say grfffr nnggg gggnfph
(at this point Sid and Joe attempted to ram a fortuitously adjacent gardening glove into the mouth of their beloved manager)
ADRIAN: Would just like to thank everyone who came to Dadstock to help us celebrate the launch of our album and remind everyone that the single In Me Shed is now available for download. Lets all get it to number one!
JOHNNY: Oh, and also that were now in the process of looking for new management. I know this bloke called Malcolm Rhodes