VELOCET- It's Beyond Our Control
Is someone taking
the Michael? Because this is being hailed by the grown-up music press
as a "tour de force", "little short of a classic",
"curiously compelling", "psychedelic punk hip-hop"
Nevermind that; it is baggy with a beatbox, for crying out loud. And it
doesn't half go on. Whereas, after listening to Campag Velocet's latest
release through Pointy Records, I no longer see the point. At times like
these, I foolishly look to the band for salvation and guidance (and a
little inspiration as I am, for once, lost for words).
In desperation, I bring you my favourite quote from singer Pete Voss:
"Some of the lyrics are quite vicious, but I wanted to reflect what
I see around me". OK, let's see. Ahem; "See my tambourine; ain't
no funki tangerine; I will bang it in your face" ("Ain't no
Funki Tambourine"). Please stop; I'm so scared. Although I will remember
to replace that piece of citrus fruit I've been carrying around with said
jangly musical instrument. I'm sure I will feel that much safer. Raaaah.
Not to forget the poetic genius of "Who are the Trumping Men? We
are the trumping men" ("Who are the Trumping Men?") Admittedly,
it's a question I've asked myself many a time so I am happy that's been
cleared up. Whatever this bloke is on, I'll have a double dosage.
But seriously. This means nothing to me at all. I can't relate to it.
I don't get it and I don't want to. Sure, I understand that it's been
recorded by the same guy that did "Screamadelica" and I enjoy
the fact that it is blatantly different to anything else around yet music
so kooky for the sake of it just makes me angry and frustrated. Not to
mention tuneless. I am frightened they are trying to hypnotise me with
their similar sounding songs. Although apparently it's not meant to make
me feel comfortable because, again according to Uncle Pete, "life
isn't comfortable" (great: as if we need reminding).
summary, I just find Campag Velocet a bit far-fetched, a bit pretentious
well, yawn. My advice to those of you out there more susceptible
than myself is to get your best indie shoes out of the wardrobe and gaze
at them in preparation for their gig at the APU Bar next month. It certainly
isn't circled on my calendar.