World's Biggest Yawns?
Top 100 lists in magazines really annoy me. I've
written an article about it.
If I pick up one more magazine that includes a Top 100 list I may actually
have to rip my own eyes out to save myself from reading the recycled
hyperbole and stating-the-bloody-obvious facts that construct such a
list. Sure, these lists would be interesting if perhaps they delved
into the details, the secrets and the processes behind each of their
components. Or, if they just decided to live dangerously and include
some forgotten gems, or explore some exciting or even entertaining subject.
But no, instead it's the same old re-hashed Top 100 Greatest albums.
You can bet your bottom dollar that the Stones and The Beatles will
be sitting safely at the top and yawn as the journalist struggles to
excite and increase the word count whilst mainly stating that Sgt Pepper's
Lonely Hearts club was made on LSD and, oh my, what a shocking cover
that Andy Warhol produced for Sticky Fingers. (Do you know it's actually
meant to be homoerotic? How very controversial). But then if some how
a slightly less obvious band such as Oasis tops the Greatest Gigs list,
well that's just shocking. How dare they! Oasis above The Beatles? And
surely everyone knows the best gig was Queen at Wembley/U2 at Slane/Steps
So really these lists are in a no win situation. They either bore the
reader, reflecting what is predicted. Or disgust the reader ("How
the hell is Robbie Williams in there? And where in the name of Englebert
Humperdinck is Tom Jones?"). Likewise they either fill the reader
with pride, at actually owning 30 of the greatest albums about homoerotic
marshmallows, or make them feel ashamed at not owning one single album
on the list. Worst of all is the actual need behind the inclusion of
such lists in so many magazines. Is the current music industry so incredibly
dull that this is the only way they can hope to fill their pages?